Why Do We Avoid Habits We Know Are Good for Us?
Ever catch yourself saying, “I know this routine would help me feel better, so why can’t I just do it?” Maybe it’s journaling, exercising, or creating a calming bedtime routine. You know it would ease your stress or boost your mood, but instead—you avoid it.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. At Carino Counseling Collective in Akron, OH, I hear this struggle all the time from people who want to feel better but feel stuck. The good news? Avoidance doesn’t mean you’re lazy, unmotivated, or broken. It usually means you’re carrying too much pressure, listening to your inner critic a little too closely, or starting in a way that feels overwhelming.
We Start Too Big
One of the biggest reasons people avoid healthy routines is because they try to do too much, too soon. Maybe you’ve told yourself:
“From now on, I’ll wake up at 5 a.m., meditate, run, and journal before work.”
“I’m cutting out sugar, carbs, and caffeine all at once.”
When the change feels huge, your brain hits the brakes. No wonder it feels easier to avoid. The truth is, small changes are powerful. Starting with five minutes of stretching or writing down one gratitude at the end of the day is much more doable—and more sustainable in the long run.
The Inner Critic Jumps In
Another reason we avoid? That harsh inner critic.
Let’s say you set a goal to journal every day. You do it three days in a row, but on day four you forget. Instead of noticing the progress, your inner critic whispers, “See? You can’t even stick with this.”
That voice can be so discouraging that it feels safer not to try at all. In therapy, we work on quieting that inner critic so you can give yourself credit for progress—even when it’s imperfect.
Too Many “Shoulds” Make Us Freeze
Do any of these sound familiar?
“I should eat healthier.”
“I should exercise more.”
“I should meditate, journal, call my mom, declutter the house…”
All those “shoulds” pile up until you feel paralyzed. Instead of doing one small thing, you end up doing nothing because the pressure is just too much. Reframing “shoulds” into choices—like “I choose to take a 10-minute walk today”—can help you feel more motivated and less weighed down.
Therapy Can Help You Build Habits That Last
At Carino Counseling Collective in Akron, OH, we understand how hard it can be to break free from avoidance, anxiety, and self-criticism. Therapy is a safe space to explore why you feel stuck, learn how to start small, and get the support you need to build habits that actually last.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Avoidance isn’t a flaw—it’s a sign you’re overwhelmed. With a little compassion, smaller steps, and the right support, you can build routines that bring peace instead of pressure.
